Kidding aside, I was on a restricted diet of only liquefied foods for a month (A MONTH!!) due to a jaw issue I've been having. It turns out that eating all day, every day, can give you an arthritic jaw. It is the carpal tunnel syndrome of food lovers. It is a potentially life-altering diagnosis. It is a plague that has unseated kings from their thrones, caused the downfall of the American textile industry, extinguished suns, and dashed the hopes of world-famous sports stars like my hero, Takeru Kobayashi.
Needless to say, you fine readers wouldn't have been too interested reading about the instant Cream of Wheat and smoothies I've been living off of.
However, I'm back in the saddle, and so hungry I could eat the horse out from under it. The doctor has given me the go-ahead to eat foods fit for the above-toddler age range.
Imagine my joy when rumor of brownies in the kitchen started floating around the office a few minutes ago. I was more than ready to sink my teeth into some chewy, fudgey, cocoa heaven. Where I had been expecting a small plate or tin of someone's homemade confections, there was a ginormous gift basket full of brownies, chocolate chip cookies, white chocolate chip cookies, and peanut butter cookies ... and a hundred employees swarming around the basket like bees about a hive.
Where did it all come from? Who cares? My belief is that there are food gnomes hiding in the walls, looking out for us all ... or fattening us up to be eaten. Whatever.
I managed to snap this shot after the carnage passed, and there were only a handful of cookies left. But I got my brownie. I'm back and ready to eat.
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